I Remember
by SmileR5
Summary: One-shot. A lot of things can happen in a short amount of time. Unfortunate things occur. When it does, it hurts like hell. My advice is you live every moment you have, breathe until your lungs can no longer take anymore. It'll be gone before you know it. Don't waste it.


**Hey guys. It's late here and I forgot this was on my laptop, and just found it and I wanted to express it as soon as possible before I decide not to post this.**

 **This is based off of the song "Turning Page" by Sleeping At Last.**

 **Hoep you like it. Just to let you know, the italics are what he's thinking now, the normal writing is his memories.**

 **I Remember**

 _I remember her soft, pink lips, how they felt upon my cheek. I remember her rosy cheeks, how they were naturally that tinted until I complimented her in anyway, then they would turn a dark pink afterwards. I remember how her hair always smelt like strawberries and sometimes had a sent of vanilla mixed in._

 _I remember how big and brown her eyes were, how they were so full of love everywhere she went; full of admiration. I remember her small, fragile body, and how I held her like she was the greatest treasure on earth, because she was. I remember when I held her I thought I was going to break her, damage her beauty. I remember how full of life she was, how energetic she was, going round telling everyone they rocked, or that they were awesome._

 _I remember her smile, how she would grin and it would make anyone's day automatically happier. Then her laugh... I remember her laugh could go on and on, but I, no one, would get sick of it. It just flowed out of her like a melody, a melody everyone liked._

 _I remember how she would laugh at my stupid jokes, how I would make them up just for her, how they would never make sense, but to her in some weird, yet adorable way, they would._ _I remember us laughing for hours, it never ending, at the beach, at home. I remember dancing with her, how she had two left feet at first but then I taught her, and she somehow became a pro._

 _I remember every damn imperfection she hated... yet I loved. I remember all the little things that made a mark in her memory, or the bad habits she caught onto._

 _I remember loving her._

 _I remember her..._

 _I've waited a hundred years,_

 _but I would wait a million more for you._

 _Nothing prepared me more,_

 _than the privilege of being yours would do._

I remember being in grade 10 and seeing the most beautifulest girl I had ever seen walk through Marino High school doors. I remember gaining the confidence to walk up to her as soon as she walked past my locker to say hello, which she politely returned, then left.

I remember the red lipstick that was smeared over her lips, and the way her eyelashes tickled the top of her eyebrow's because they were so long. And her shortness... I remember loving the way she had to look up at me, and the way I looked down because she didn't wear heals, she wore converses, which attracted me more.

What I remember most about that day... Is the way she walked up to a boy and kissed him so hard it knocked him backwards.

I then remember later that day, speaking to her after school had finished.

"Ally?" I asked her, cautious of whether she would answer me.

She turned around, smiling. "Yeah... do I know you?"

I remember chuckling, telling her my name then explaining to her that I knew she had a boyfriend, but telling her she was beautiful anyway. She accepted the compliment, then hugged me slightly as a thank you.

I remember the hug... the hug wasn't nothing, the hug, even though it was small, expressed so many emotions, and was so powerful that it was like she had never gotten a compliment before.

Then before she left, I remember telling her I would wait. I would wait because the weird connection I felt, I knew it would pull us closer, and I knew she felt it too. And she would be mine.

 _If I had only felt the warmth within your touch_  
 _If I had only seen how you smile when you blush_  
 _Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough_  
 _Well I would have known_  
 _What I was living for all along_  
 _What I've been living for_

I remember seeing her back as I walked in because she was on my bed, and the jumper she wore rose a little causing me to see the dimples in her back. I remember loving how big the jumpers looked on her because they were mine, loving the way they almost swallowed her hole.

I remember her walking up to me, becoming so close that I could feel the hotness of her breath on my face. Then I remember her blushing, a deep shade of pink because we had collided and not meant to.

All she had asked for was a pencil.

I remember her going back to my bed, smiling slightly, then sitting down crossed legged trying to figure out whatever math question we were stuck on. I remember her biting her lip harshly, almost like she was about to draw blood, but it was always looked like it was perfectly curled under her teeth.

I remember walking over to her, sitting down next to her and leaning my head against hers. I remember trying to take in everything, burn it in my head forever.

"Austin?" I remember the way she said my voice... so delicately.

"Yeah?"

"I-I..." I remember how she stuttered, unable to say what she was going to.

I remember my heart beating a thousand miles a minute, and it's all because of her.

I remember it all being because of her.

"Is everything going to be okay?"

I remember her voice. How it was so loud, honest and clear.

Yet, this wasn't her. Her voice was and deep and croaky.

I didn't know what she was on about, but I remember myself pulling her in for a hug, then replying, "Everything will be okay, beautiful. Don't you worry."

Then I remember that night, it was what pulled my attention closer. She was changing, and I don't know why.

 _Your love is my turning page,_

 _Where only the sweetest words remain._

 _Every kiss is a cursive line,_

 _Every touch a redefining phrase._

I remember the moment she broke up with her boyfriend, how she was deep in conversation. She looked pained. God, how I wish I don't remember that one thing.

I remember how her boyfriend seemed to understand, and in some weird way, he let her go without any struggle. I remember promising myself that when I have her, if she ever tried to leave, i could never let go. I couldn't.

I then remember going round her house, like I always do, but this time it was different. The atmosphere was tense, cold... something was off.

Her mother answered the door in tears, dismissing me saying she was fine...

I knew she was lying. But then I remember panicking, she wouldn't tell me what was wrong and she was in tears... so where was Ally?

I ran up the stairs, missing one every time. Then I remember opening her bedroom door, hearing the cries of a broken girl. I walked in and studied her face before she could notice me. I remember her face... a picture I could never forget.

Tears stained her cheeks, and her brown orbs had dulled, drowning. I remember walking straight over to her, taking her in my arms, ignoring the protesting. I didn't care.

Then I remember her finally calming down, but stayed in her place in my arms. I remember her not daring to move, like if she did she would break.

"What's wrong?"

"I-I can't..." I remember her shaking her head violently. Having me to stop it and hold it against my chest, letting her listen to my heartbeat, a thing she told me she loved.

"Take all the time you need, princess. I'm always here. I'll always be here." I kissed the top of her head, then rested mine on it.

I remember our height difference, loving the way she perectly fit like a puzzle piece with me.

"I love you," I remember whispering into her hair, breaking the silence.

I remember how she took a sharp breath in, then let it out before sniffing and replying.

"I love you too." I remember those sweet, poetic words coming out of her mouth after. It was said in a whisper, bearly able for me too hear, but I did.

Then I remember her kissing me, with the same power she had don't with her last boyfriend months ago, almost knocking me over. But I remeber holding her carefully in my arms, tracing every curve, every line of her skin, not forgetting it.

 _...Then months ago I remember her changing, her eyes turning a grey colour, her cheeks turning less pink, and her body so tired all the time. She was turning into someone else, someone who was not her. Her hair was a lot shorter and seemed a lot thinner, and the strawberries with the little vanilla I always smelt, it was replaced with honey. The honey smell was nice... but it wasn't her. Then weeks came and went as quick as anything, and she was changing as fast as ever. I know she knew she was, she just decided not to say._

 _I remember the way that she picked up a book in the library, then instantly put it down once she had seen the title: "Leaving." I remember how hurt she looked, how the tears in her eyes were threatening to fall, but she didn't dare let them. I remember how strong she was, how she never let anything break her. I remember how her nails were chipped of some nail varnish, and how I knew it wasn't her because she always had it neat and tidy. Her room became messier, and I knew it wasn't her because of how co-ordinated she was, and I also knew it wasn't her because she was never tired, and now she always was._

 _Then this... the pale, thin, lifeless girl that lied in front of me not moving, was not her. She was cold... too cold. I remember her always being warm._

 _And even the makeup that was painted to her face didn't make her look like her. She never wore this much._

 _I surrender who I've been for who you are,_

 _for nothing makes me stronger than your,_

 _fragile heart._

"Why would you do that!?" I remember he screaming, her voice cracking with every word she spoke. I cringed.

"Did you not see or hear the way he looked at you, what he said about you!?" I remember fighting back, the anger still burned within me.

I remember how she would always wipe her tears away with the back of her hand, like she had done just then.

"You should ignore it like I do!"

"Well I cant!"

"We've not even been dating two days, and you're already being a jealous fuck!" I remember how she told me she hated swearing, how it made her feel weak.

"He was hitting on you in front of me! How do you expect me to not retaliate and punch him?!"

I remember her going silent, wiping more tears away. Then her brown orbs stared into mine, never leaving contact.

"People only have a certain amount of time in this world Austin, you punching him could activate something in his body that could kill him. Don't waste your time on beating people up because they looked at me the wrong way, spend every moment brething while you can—it gets taken away unexpectedly."

I remember taking every word in, letting it sink in. What she had said was true, but my damn hormones get in the way.

I remember closing my eyes, exhaling out and pulling her towards my body, enclosing her in my grip.

"I'm sorry," I remember whispering into her honey smelt hair, which then made me remember everything that's changed with her.

"I only acted that way because you're mine to look at that way, not any one else's. I know I sound like I own you, I don't mean to, it's just... I love you so damn much Ally it hurts."

"You have to remember I'm not looking at them, I'm looking at you because I'm yours, not theirs..."

"You're too kind to people, it's not fair on you. But, if me not doing anything stupid makes you and you're fragile heart happy, I'll give up anything for you."

I remember kissing her chastely on the lips, and her kissing back, almost trying with as much power as she used to, but not being able to.

I remember hearing her breathing, how it wasn't coming out like a melody, instead like a ragged tune that was dying from no power.

 _If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,_

 _well I would've known,_

 _What I've been living for all along,_

 _what I've been living for._

 _...A week. We had been only dating a week, and the amount of letters that I recied after was shocking, but I would cherish them forever. Her neat, swirly hand writing on the front. I remember the way she wrote, how her hand moved freely and would still be neat._

 _We had only been dating a week, and she was taken off of me. I remember saying I didn't deserve this torture, but then my mind flew back to the love of my life that I now didn't ever get to hold again, and saying she didn't deserve this._

 _She didn't deserve to have her life taken off of her._

 _I cried. I remember crying until my eyes couldn't produce any more water from them, but that didn't help me stop thinking about her._

 _I remember reading all the letters she wrote to me, they explain everything. It angered me, but I understood. You can't escape from dying. She tried, but it got to her before she could fight._

 _I remember promising to finish everything she wanted to do in a year, then be with her. Leave the same night she did, to be with her._

 _I would do it for her, because no doubt she is the same person up there like she was down here. I will remember that. I'll always remember her._

 _I remember trying to get myself to think this wasn't real, that she would come back and be the same girl I loved._

 _And still do._

 _It was horrible._

 _It was heartbreaking._

 _I will always remember loving her, and never stopping, even though she isnt here._

 _Because she's gone._

 _Forever._

 _But I will be with her soon._

 _"I promise, Ally."_

 **Not my best, but wanted to get it up. Like I said its late, and I don't think straight. R &R please**. **Thankyou lovely's.**


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